Pimpin' Ain't Easy...
Have fun ...makin' lots of money ...it's a sweet life!
When you join The Safari Pimps you're getting into the business of helping people have fun.
This page goes into detail about many of the benefits of joining The Safari Pimps, but feel free to just sign up for YOUR FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGE and start making money right away.
Be sure to claim your gift next time you see Nate or G...
As a Safari Pimp or Pimpstress, whenever you see anyone with one of these lighters, and they can't show you their free Smoke Shop page to prove that they're also a Safari Pimp ...you can demand that they sign up on the spot ...or take the lighter for your own use.
At last ...a SOLUTION for lighter thievery!
We give these lighters out only to Safari Pimps or people who promise to join.
Any Safari Pimp who gets someone they catch with one of these lighters to make good on their promise to join/become an affiliate ...should tell Nate or G about it and ask for a reward.
We'll give you a lighter and/or some other nice gift.
So get YOUR FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGE ...and claim your free Safari Pimps lighter ...along with all the other perks and privileges that come with membership!
No need to read all the details now, but here they are for whenever you have the time...
Safari Pimping 101
We make money helping people have as much fun as they can LEGALLY have. We don't sell drugs or sexual services, but we do encourage people to enjoy legal highs ...and to celebrate their sexuality.
Our act is a good-natured comedic twist on the pimp theme. Austin Powers style! ;P
A Safari Pimp respects a Safari Pimpstress's right to have fun being as sexual as she wants to be ...and shields her from attempts to discourage her from feeling free like this, made by anyone who don't share his genuine respect for women.
In exchange for this enlightened attitude a Safari Pimp gets to enjoy being near a lot of positive sexual energy.
A Safari Pimpstress gets to go out dressed as sexy as she feels and dance as dirty as she wants to ...gets to feel truly free to love her sexuality and be playful about it ...without being mobbed or otherwise bothered by guys she isn't interested in ...because she's got protective male friends with her keeping her safe!
So Safari Pimps and Pimpstresses show each other reciprocating respect and help each other get more of what they want socially.
Safari Pimps Enjoy Their Work
And the beauty of being a Safari Pimp or Pimpstress is that if you're really great at partying ...you can make your living at it!
Get YOUR FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGE and start making money right away...
...and/or read on if you'd like to learn about a few more ways you can make your living partying after you've joined the Safari Pimps.
Pimpstress Parties
If the idea appeals to you, contact us about how you can throw parties for a living ...at which you offer "adult" toys for sale.
We're calling them "Pimpstress Parties" because we figure mostly women will want to do them, along the lines of how mostly women do Passion Parties, but anyone who thinks it would be fun is welcome to work this concept.
But they'll be real parties with only the best "adult" products being sold by creatively including them in the party ...through the use of party gags that will get people laughing ...and buying.
Party themes will be flexible to account for all different preferences. Not just for the girls ...but customizable to appeal to anyone who wants to throw a party and make some money.
Contact Party@SafariPimps.com if you'd like to throw a Pimpstress Party.
Safari Pimps can earn money selling Shamananistic Safaris...
~ Trips to Jamaica where magic
mushrooms are legally considered to be a food like any other mushroom.
~ Trips to Brazil where a Brazilian friend tells us people can legally
consume ayahuasca
in the context of a religious ritual conducted by a Shaman.
~ If we
can verify that there's for sure a legal angle for consuming peyote in Mexico, we'll sell
trips there too. Still researching this one.
~ And of course trips to Amsterdam ...just because Amsterdam is a Safari Pimps kind of town.
Contact Safaris@SafarPimps.com if you'd like to get a tour together.
Get paid a commission for each person you find who buys a Shamanistic Safari tour.
Also, send us your ideas for Safaris if you know about any good potential tours we haven't got listed here.
Note: We are not yet actually offering Shamanistic Safaris because we still need to have this idea and details of our offer reviewed by our attorneys.
Unlimited attorney phone consultation ...and the ability to contact a lawyer (for free) 24/7 within 5 rings any time you're being questioned by police (including any time you're pulled over by a traffic cop).
The following riddle will be included on all the FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGES...
~ a riddle fo yo pimpfotainment ~
Sweet G's been written plenty of speeding tickets!
BUT HE HAS A PERFECT DRIVING RECORD
maybe you can guess
how this can be
if you
click
?
!
:PHint: Instead of paying the tickets, he's paid the price of the tickets to lawyers referred to him thru a service that costs him less than he'd pay in additional auto insurance if the tickets showed up on his driving record.
The truly mind-boggling thing is it would've cost him more to simply pay the fines, and if he'd done that there'd be traffic violations on his record!
...if you want to make the money when someone clicks View the Movie looking for the solution to this riddle, let us know and we'll get you set up to collect the commissions ...otherwise this link will lead people to an automated web system that sends us the commissions whenever anyone joins.
Either way is fine with us. What we recommend is that you promote the riddle and see if enough people are joining to make it worth your while to get set up to sell this service.
If you can make one sale every 4 months from that link it would pay your membership dues for this service ...and still be paying you to have all these legal protections!
Show off YOUR FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGE much at all and you can automatically make money selling legal services memberships.
Hell, ask us what we don't dare try to write about how to use this membership ...and you won't be able to resist joining ...and then consider that you can tell people the same things we'll tell you ...and they won't be able to resist joining either.
This membership will save anyone money ...with YOUR FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGE it can easily MAKE you money!
Safari Pimps promote having all the fun you can LEGALLY have
With Shamanistic Safaris we'll be selling guided tours to places where what's called a drug and criminalized in many countries, is considered to be a food ...or a protected religious sacrament ...or has simply been deemed safe to use as a legal intoxicant. Selling vacation tours to these places, not the controversial substances.
With Pimpstress Parties we're selling toys people can use to feel sexual pleasures ...by throwing parties where people can feel free to be as playfully sexual as THEY WANT TO BE, in the context of reciprocating consent & respect for everyone present. Passion Parties, but with a Safari Pimpstress style (and higher quality toys).
With the Smoke Shops were selling legal herbal highs, accessories for smoking, vaporizing & weighing legal herbs.
And to keep things legal, we're having everything we offer on this site reviewed by a lawyer ...and selling legal services memberships to this same service we're using to anyone else who'd like to be absolutely sure they're staying legal.
Considering all the money that can be made promoting healthy, legal pleasures ...selling illegal drugs or old-fashioned sexual services just doesn't make sense.
So don't directly ask us for anything illegal, or directly offer us anything illegal. If you do this ...you'll lose your status as a Safari Pimp and your Smoke Shop page will be deleted.
Phrase any legally questionable suggestions like this, "If this is legal, maybe we should..." And if our lawyers say it isn't legal, we'll let you know why we can't implement your suggestion ...thank you for the feedback ...and encourage you to keep it coming.
What we do is legal ...and we're going to stay legal!
Join The Safari Pimps
Sign up now for YOUR FREE SMOKE SHOP PAGE ...and get into the business of helping people have fun!
